“If you tend to censor your truth to be nice, think about this: By controlling how you’re perceived by others, nobody really knows you. You start to believe that somethings wrong with you. You have to hide it when you feel stuff that doesn’t jive with your nice persona. You also don’t truly know anyone else because you’re only experiencing their response to your facade. It’s a lonely place to live.”
I just read this banging article @memali108 on vulnerability in relationships. It is right on the spot of where I am in my own relationship. We did a practice this week of telling each other all the things we’ve haven’t told each other one by one for five minutes. No processing. Just sharing. It was excruciating and liberating. There was a rich feeling of intimacy on the other side and we felt so close. I had this fear that if I really spoke the truth it would break him, hurt him, he would judge me, I would loose control or cause Unrepairable harm. A long list of reasonable fears which did not turn out to be true.
My dream is to be my true, wild, unfiltered self in any relationship I am in and be responded to there, regardless who it is with. He told he is not made of fragile glass and is ready for the intensity that the truth brings. I commit to dropping the good girl persona and bringing out the wild wolf inside.
My experience so far is that then everyone wins. Do you feel like you’re hiding in your relationship? What would it take for you to admit how you really feel?