I see you and the way you yearn to be touched.
You want to be tenderly caressed with light finger strokes.
You want to feel the bredth of him inside you.
You want to hear the words, my god, I want you.
You want to feel penetrated by his attention as soon as you enter the room.
You want to remember that being in your presence is the greatest gift you could ever offer.
I see the way you quieten down your inner hunger with little laughs, smiles and pleasing gestures.
You hope he doesn’t catch a glimpse of what’s really going on inside. You make it about him to cover up how much you yearn for it to be about you.
In private moments, as you lick your lips and your tongue salvates, you imagine for one moment what it could like he could truly see it. If he got to feel what you feel in those moments where you let her purr.
You imagine a moment that you let your desire off a leash.
You let the beast roar. You let yourself devour and you open.
Your body melts as he handles you with eager grace.
You pretend you’re simply scared, not brave enough to go there, yet there is a part of you so turned on, so excited to stoke the holy sex fire within you.
You want to test it.
You start to wander, maybe he knows, and I’m the one holding it back. Maybe just one day, he’ll say the right thing, or the do the right thing and it will all change.
You secretly hope he does so you could stop exhausting yourself pretending you’re fine with how things are.
You secretly hope that he desires to be an invitation for you to open.
You secretly hope he is asking questions to everyone in his life: what does it take for me to be with the dynamism of this exceptional woman and everything she wants.
Let me tell you, it is not about him. It’s about you.
You’ve been taught it backwards. If you change yourself, it you dampen your desire and your behaviour, you will eventually get everything you want.
Sister, it is all lies. We’ve been fed a falsehood and we’ve all been willingly holding up the smoke screen for one another.
You’re putting yourself at the back of the que.
I refuse to lie to you anymore and tell you that this is it.
I see you “Too Much Hungry Woman” woman trying to strategise how to be less of you.
You try to quieten your roaring heart after a night of deep sex or a first date. You decide you can’t ask for more. You hold back. You don’t go in when every part of you wants to go in. You yearn, you lay awake at night wondering if it is possible to lesson how much you want.
You let the inconvenience of your desire torture you, you make it wrong and you declare if he was a deeper, better man I wouldn’t need to honour myself first.
You think if you give up your sex you’ll loose the only power you have.
You abide by the rules and keep a shackle on her. You try to quieten her, keep her asleep but it’s been too long. The cauldron is overflowing and she is awake.
You let her feed for a moment and then you forcefully take it away. You say, “Stop making such a fuss. It’s only sex.”
You’re starving because you keep accepting mediocre snacks over the real thing.
You’re going to keep trying to “trick” yourself until the discomfort of denial becomes too great.
One day you will make the decision that you want a lot more than scraps. You want an exquisite banquet of connection and you want an exceptional experience.
You want to be devoured, worshiped; you want your skin to be tingling and you want the sex to start hours before your clothes leave your body.
The undeniable truth is you have to remember that you are a powerful creator of your experiences. You have to willing to guide, lead and transform what’s right in front of you.
The undeniable truth is that when you’re connected to “her”, your delicious, loyal desire, you will always win because you will never be denying any part of you.
There is nothing sexier than that.
Let me tell you “Hungry Woman”, when you let the true desire unleash you leave an undeniable feeling deep in his bones. It can’t be unfelt to be with a woman like you.
My body. A vessel of love, pleasure, life.
I recently had a moment of feeling ashamed of my body. It was really brief yet it hit me like ice-cold razors going from head to toe. I was asked to leave a bar because the owner could see my nipples through the side of my top and it was scaring the kids + bad for business, so she said. I don’t really give a fuck why she wanted me to leave, I am more interested in the sensation it had in my body - the way I responded to her vile behaviour as it was happening. I made myself wrong. I sunk into my chair for a moment. People were watching.
I walked away wearing a gorgeous yellow low cut dress and wished I wasn’t wearing it, just for a moment. I felt humiliated. I made myself wrong for feeling that way almost immediately. Like, this isn’t the woman that I am, I am “better” than this woman telling me this bullshit bla, yet her words had got in there and I wanted to trust my body and how she is reacting.
As I explored it more deeply, I realised that it touched the very deep part of me that has a grain of sand of disapproval inside my heart. For my sex. For my boldness. The way I love to dress. My nipples. My breasts. For the way I want to pioneer a new conversation around exactly this topic, and sex, and raising our consciousness around the way we love ourselves and practice intimacy and celebrate women, and each other. The disapproving part of me wants to make me wrong, and to stop it all. Use this as evidence that I should hide, cover up and be appropriate.
At this stage, it’s a minor voice in the background, yet I want to acknowledge it because I know it’s a reality we all face and I want to work with that voice. The voices internal, or in some unfortunate cases, receiving externally from others can dominate, or trick us into believing there is something wrong with us — deep down in my heart I know that there is nothing wrong and ultimately I know too much now to turn back on my path.
The year 2018 is my year of Alchemy, and this was a moment of truly alchemising shame which I will never forget. My body did it for me and then my mind follow making meaning of what happened.
I'm opening up for new coaching clients for September and October 2018. If you are interested to explore working with me 1:2:1 write to me at email@example.com with the title "I am curious"!