vulnerability

Your Desire. Your Responsibility.

 
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When I first came up with the language of #fullyunleashed, the vision I had in my heart was of women reclaiming their softness.

I try to imagine where your mind goes when you hear the journey of the The Fully Unleashed Feminine.

I make up that some of you might read it as an intensity that you are not ready for. I want to offer a fresh perspective.

I believe many of you have learned to put a hard case around your heart, you are desensitised from your precious
emotions, you have sanitised your voice and silenced your desires.

We live in a fast, goal-orientated culture in both life and relationships and it doesn’t work for many women - you want MORE nuance, intensity AND a SLOWER pace.

You want the people in your life to pay attention to the beauty that sits before them. You want those that interact with you to take their sweet time remembering that the Fully Unleashed woman is not in a rush.

Instead, you live lost hoping for an invitation to return home.

You’ve started to believe that the key exists outside of you - in a man, job, financial status, ideal weight or physical beauty. If you keep it together for long enough, you may get “lucky” for the big break, the perfect man and the life of your dreamz.

That expectation leaves you passive, unaroused, dry, depressed and small and often, your greatest asset, your heart, remains closed.

You demand to be saved versus command to be seen.

Sister, let me remind you that the world won the day you were born and it is you that needs to re-remember that.

You are the creator of the quality that you want.

Your precious energy, when attended to beautifully, is an infinite resource that energises everyone around you. I invite you to learn how to attend to your own energy well first rather then give the responsibility over to anyone else.

This means YOU take care of you first. That’s right, babe.

Your needs. Your desires. Your vision. Your orgasm. Your priority.

Fully Unleashed is a journey of slowing life down. It’s going back and feeling the tenderness of the past that wants to be acknowledged and integrated into your present.

This opportunity here is to give yourself the luxury to enquire, go within and decide does the life I have chosen today match the brilliance of my being. If not, am I willing to sit in the inconvenience of change.

Am I willing to learn radical self-responsibility and being in sacred service to loving myself first?

Am I willing to remember that my PRESENCE is a gift to those I love?

Yes YOU, without having to do anything, or look a certain way. Simply by being YOU, you bring a unique energy to those that have the privilege of interacting with you.

The amount of you that are astounded when I remind you of that simple fact.

I use the example of being taken out to dinner and thinking you need to perform “the good, not too available guarded women script” to deserve to be there or to manipulate someone into wanting you.

Not realising that your love, care, vulnerability, presence and ability to receive the moment is an unbelievable gift.

You are so focused on making yourself “desirable” that you miss revealing the most desirable parts of you.

The Fully Unleashed in all of us is connected to her wildness, her intuition, her soceress, her innocence, her unique tender heart, her darkness and her s*x.

She’s messy, she can RAGE with love, she will call out the bullshit with her fierce, LOVING, sword and she will stoke the brilliance of the world around her, simply by her willingness to be her.

She is you.

I See You Hungry Woman

 
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I see you and the way you yearn to be touched.

You want to be tenderly caressed with light finger strokes.

You want to feel the bredth of him inside you.

You want to hear the words, my god, I want you.

You want to feel penetrated by his attention as soon as you enter the room.

You want to remember that being in your presence is the greatest gift you could ever offer.

I see the way you quieten down your inner hunger with little laughs, smiles and pleasing gestures.

You hope he doesn’t catch a glimpse of what’s really going on inside. You make it about him to cover up how much you yearn for it to be about you.

In private moments, as you lick your lips and your tongue salvates, you imagine for one moment what it could like he could truly see it. If he got to feel what you feel in those moments where you let her purr.

You imagine a moment that you let your desire off a leash.

You let the beast roar. You let yourself devour and you open.

Your body melts as he handles you with eager grace.

You pretend you’re simply scared, not brave enough to go there, yet there is a part of you so turned on, so excited to stoke the holy sex fire within you.

You want to test it.

You start to wander, maybe he knows, and I’m the one holding it back. Maybe just one day, he’ll say the right thing, or the do the right thing and it will all change.

You secretly hope he does so you could stop exhausting yourself pretending you’re fine with how things are.

You secretly hope that he desires to be an invitation for you to open.

You secretly hope he is asking questions to everyone in his life: what does it take for me to be with the dynamism of this exceptional woman and everything she wants.

Let me tell you, it is not about him. It’s about you.

You’ve been taught it backwards. If you change yourself, it you dampen your desire and your behaviour, you will eventually get everything you want.

Sister, it is all lies. We’ve been fed a falsehood and we’ve all been willingly holding up the smoke screen for one another.

You’re putting yourself at the back of the que.

I refuse to lie to you anymore and tell you that this is it.

I see you “Too Much Hungry Woman” woman trying to strategise how to be less of you.

You try to quieten your roaring heart after a night of deep sex or a first date. You decide you can’t ask for more. You hold back. You don’t go in when every part of you wants to go in. You yearn, you lay awake at night wondering if it is possible to lesson how much you want.

You let the inconvenience of your desire torture you, you make it wrong and you declare if he was a deeper, better man I wouldn’t need to honour myself first.

You think if you give up your sex you’ll loose the only power you have.

You abide by the rules and keep a shackle on her. You try to quieten her, keep her asleep but it’s been too long. The cauldron is overflowing and she is awake.

You let her feed for a moment and then you forcefully take it away. You say, “Stop making such a fuss. It’s only sex.”

You’re starving because you keep accepting mediocre snacks over the real thing.

You’re going to keep trying to “trick” yourself until the discomfort of denial becomes too great.

One day you will make the decision that you want a lot more than scraps. You want an exquisite banquet of connection and you want an exceptional experience.

You want to be devoured, worshiped; you want your skin to be tingling and you want the sex to start hours before your clothes leave your body.

The undeniable truth is you have to remember that you are a powerful creator of your experiences. You have to willing to guide, lead and transform what’s right in front of you.

You.

The undeniable truth is that when you’re connected to “her”, your delicious, loyal desire, you will always win because you will never be denying any part of you.

There is nothing sexier than that.

Let me tell you “Hungry Woman”, when you let the true desire unleash you leave an undeniable feeling deep in his bones. It can’t be unfelt to be with a woman like you.

Men, I want to experience every last aspect of you.

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Yesterday, I was listening to Robert Kandell talk about receiving on his podcast and what makes it so hard for us to receive the full expression of ourselves in relationships, let love really. We have convinced ourselves it’s noble to not receive. To say, I don’t need that love, I’m good.

He talks about how much harder it is for men to even admit they have fear and how that can get in the way of connection inside a relationship, “The worst thing a man can do is to be a boy that shows fear. That will be the one that is bullied. We’re taught to have no fear, perceive no fear and we shut down our emotions to fear. Fear is an important thing to notice as it gives you so much information.”. It got me thinking about how little understanding I have had about what it means to be a man, and how much richer my life has become since I have decided to pay attention to that. I make a really conscious effort to show my man that it’s safe to show his fear and the breadth of his emotions. It’s work on my side to be able to do that, especially when old wounds get triggered.

Rob says, “Men. You have to make it very pleasurable for a woman to receive you. Go to a therapist. Coach. Get your shit cleaned up”. The message here is not that it’s all on the women, or it’s all on the men, but rather there is this place in between where we can truly stay curious and take responsibility for our own shit, and understand the societal conditioning that created some of belief systems.


The same conditioning that tells me my partner being with another woman means he doesn’t love me and won’t come back, is the same conditioning which has indoctrinated him to think the expression of my raw emotions - like anger, jealously or sadness - is a deep threat to his freedom and a thing to be feared.

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The same conditioning that tells me my partner being with another woman means he doesn’t love me and won’t come back, is the same conditioning which has indoctrinated him to think the expression of my raw emotions - like anger, jealously or sadness - is a deep threat to his freedom and a thing to be feared.

My favourite thing from the podcast, is when Rob says there is an opportunity for women to say to the men in their lives, “I want to know all of you. I want to experience every last aspect of you. I want to be a safe space for who you are. I want to be with you in your highest highs or lowest lows. This is not a job for you as women, this is an opportunity.”

In a world that has heavily communicated the opposite, I want to be a woman that pioneers that level of integrity and love inside of my relationship to men.

Women, how do you feel about this? Do you feel like it is an opportunity for you to develop your capacity to be with more of your man? How do you show up when he is at his lowest low?