I’m leaving you today after being inside you for four months. I appreciate you in a way I have only recently been able to admit.
You held me like the true cauldron of transformation that you are… through rich moments of awakening.
I was warned, “don’t rush her.”
I didn’t listen. I was in a rush. A brave rush, but still a rush.
I wanted all of you on immediate arrival. Being a beginner was vulnerable and I judged you for not being right when I didn’t want to put in the real work. What a gorgeous lesson.
You do not respond well to pressure and force.
You are like the mysterious feminine….with light persistent, resonant attention you will open.
If I forced or tried to skip the steps, you would close shut. I had to learn the skill to discover all the magnificent treasures you have to offer without any attachment to timing.
As you started to elegantly reveal yourself to me my mind was blown. Great love and appreciation is developed over time and I’m sorry that I forgot that.
You are full of mysterious treasures. Those beaches and the surrounding water. We could leave the city and in thirty minutes be watching an exquisite Atlantic sunset alone. No one else around.
I can’t think of many other places where that is possible with city living. In recent weeks I spent many moments staring at the water for as long as I needed. You helped me reveal my own internal treasures that I had forgotten.
You have the magical land of Sintra twenty minutes away with ridiculous palaces like playgrounds with underground caves, full of regalia and absurd human expression. I couldn’t believe a place that like actually existed. It does. You have it.
You have some of the best humans living in you. By best, I mean the ones that are deeply committed to you. Everyone I meet is in for the long haul to support you in being everything you are meant to be. There’s nothing I love more than a committed group of ambitious humans and you are FULL of em.
You challenged me with your calmness and steady pace. You are different to New York and London. Without the noise and rush, I was left with the speed of my mind without much fog to distract myself. It was confronting. I had to wake up to my own bullshit and where I’d been running from patterns and living out of alignment. I hadn’t been still enough in long enough to really listen in the way I could living still inside of you.
You are a bedrock for romance. I loved watching all the couples that frequent you. There is a perfume of permission and I would watch beautiful pairs devour each other on many of your stunning park benches. I enjoyed walking at night on the quiet streets and seeing couples making out under the moonlight against your brightly coloured walls and cobbled streets. The more I looked, the more I saw and I would often make my whole body heat up with joy. There is something unique about Europe PDA — it feels so fucking abundant and like we can unleash all ourselves, and it is allowed. We can HAVE it.
I appreciate the flavour of your men and their style of giving attention. There is a certain way that Southern European men overtly appreciate women. I grew up in Spain and if you were to draw an almost perfect line across the island of Iberia from you to the other coast of Spain you would find my childhood. Living in you felt familiar; a region I had lived closed in before. I grew up navigating the often overwhelming attention of many of these types of men and I realised living in you what a sticky impression that experience left on me.
Your male flavour felt a little different I realised this week. I would enjoy the way they would stop and devour me with their eyes, soaking all of me in without it ever feeling like they entered my energetic space with their attention. It created an opportunity for me to breathe on your streets never feeling under threat or obligation yet always feeling deeply appreciated. That’s a gorgeous sweet spot for a woman.
You are a spiritual centre and many many people told me about the Mecca of Desire that exists only hours away. I will be visiting soon with my soul sister Lauren.
Finally, you have a pulse right now that is fucking electric. I want to be more ready for your sugar and spice, so with that, I’m taking a pause. I’m almost certain I’ll be back. Maybe in weeks or maybe in months. It is unclear. All I know is my chapter with you has deeply, deeply elevated my life and like all the best love affairs, I commit to always being curious and never, ever having you figured out.
I love you Lisboa,