Women's Empowerment

Your Desire. Your Responsibility.

 
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When I first came up with the language of #fullyunleashed, the vision I had in my heart was of women reclaiming their softness.

I try to imagine where your mind goes when you hear the journey of the The Fully Unleashed Feminine.

I make up that some of you might read it as an intensity that you are not ready for. I want to offer a fresh perspective.

I believe many of you have learned to put a hard case around your heart, you are desensitised from your precious
emotions, you have sanitised your voice and silenced your desires.

We live in a fast, goal-orientated culture in both life and relationships and it doesn’t work for many women - you want MORE nuance, intensity AND a SLOWER pace.

You want the people in your life to pay attention to the beauty that sits before them. You want those that interact with you to take their sweet time remembering that the Fully Unleashed woman is not in a rush.

Instead, you live lost hoping for an invitation to return home.

You’ve started to believe that the key exists outside of you - in a man, job, financial status, ideal weight or physical beauty. If you keep it together for long enough, you may get “lucky” for the big break, the perfect man and the life of your dreamz.

That expectation leaves you passive, unaroused, dry, depressed and small and often, your greatest asset, your heart, remains closed.

You demand to be saved versus command to be seen.

Sister, let me remind you that the world won the day you were born and it is you that needs to re-remember that.

You are the creator of the quality that you want.

Your precious energy, when attended to beautifully, is an infinite resource that energises everyone around you. I invite you to learn how to attend to your own energy well first rather then give the responsibility over to anyone else.

This means YOU take care of you first. That’s right, babe.

Your needs. Your desires. Your vision. Your orgasm. Your priority.

Fully Unleashed is a journey of slowing life down. It’s going back and feeling the tenderness of the past that wants to be acknowledged and integrated into your present.

This opportunity here is to give yourself the luxury to enquire, go within and decide does the life I have chosen today match the brilliance of my being. If not, am I willing to sit in the inconvenience of change.

Am I willing to learn radical self-responsibility and being in sacred service to loving myself first?

Am I willing to remember that my PRESENCE is a gift to those I love?

Yes YOU, without having to do anything, or look a certain way. Simply by being YOU, you bring a unique energy to those that have the privilege of interacting with you.

The amount of you that are astounded when I remind you of that simple fact.

I use the example of being taken out to dinner and thinking you need to perform “the good, not too available guarded women script” to deserve to be there or to manipulate someone into wanting you.

Not realising that your love, care, vulnerability, presence and ability to receive the moment is an unbelievable gift.

You are so focused on making yourself “desirable” that you miss revealing the most desirable parts of you.

The Fully Unleashed in all of us is connected to her wildness, her intuition, her soceress, her innocence, her unique tender heart, her darkness and her s*x.

She’s messy, she can RAGE with love, she will call out the bullshit with her fierce, LOVING, sword and she will stoke the brilliance of the world around her, simply by her willingness to be her.

She is you.

I See You Hungry Woman

 
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I see you and the way you yearn to be touched.

You want to be tenderly caressed with light finger strokes.

You want to feel the bredth of him inside you.

You want to hear the words, my god, I want you.

You want to feel penetrated by his attention as soon as you enter the room.

You want to remember that being in your presence is the greatest gift you could ever offer.

I see the way you quieten down your inner hunger with little laughs, smiles and pleasing gestures.

You hope he doesn’t catch a glimpse of what’s really going on inside. You make it about him to cover up how much you yearn for it to be about you.

In private moments, as you lick your lips and your tongue salvates, you imagine for one moment what it could like he could truly see it. If he got to feel what you feel in those moments where you let her purr.

You imagine a moment that you let your desire off a leash.

You let the beast roar. You let yourself devour and you open.

Your body melts as he handles you with eager grace.

You pretend you’re simply scared, not brave enough to go there, yet there is a part of you so turned on, so excited to stoke the holy sex fire within you.

You want to test it.

You start to wander, maybe he knows, and I’m the one holding it back. Maybe just one day, he’ll say the right thing, or the do the right thing and it will all change.

You secretly hope he does so you could stop exhausting yourself pretending you’re fine with how things are.

You secretly hope that he desires to be an invitation for you to open.

You secretly hope he is asking questions to everyone in his life: what does it take for me to be with the dynamism of this exceptional woman and everything she wants.

Let me tell you, it is not about him. It’s about you.

You’ve been taught it backwards. If you change yourself, it you dampen your desire and your behaviour, you will eventually get everything you want.

Sister, it is all lies. We’ve been fed a falsehood and we’ve all been willingly holding up the smoke screen for one another.

You’re putting yourself at the back of the que.

I refuse to lie to you anymore and tell you that this is it.

I see you “Too Much Hungry Woman” woman trying to strategise how to be less of you.

You try to quieten your roaring heart after a night of deep sex or a first date. You decide you can’t ask for more. You hold back. You don’t go in when every part of you wants to go in. You yearn, you lay awake at night wondering if it is possible to lesson how much you want.

You let the inconvenience of your desire torture you, you make it wrong and you declare if he was a deeper, better man I wouldn’t need to honour myself first.

You think if you give up your sex you’ll loose the only power you have.

You abide by the rules and keep a shackle on her. You try to quieten her, keep her asleep but it’s been too long. The cauldron is overflowing and she is awake.

You let her feed for a moment and then you forcefully take it away. You say, “Stop making such a fuss. It’s only sex.”

You’re starving because you keep accepting mediocre snacks over the real thing.

You’re going to keep trying to “trick” yourself until the discomfort of denial becomes too great.

One day you will make the decision that you want a lot more than scraps. You want an exquisite banquet of connection and you want an exceptional experience.

You want to be devoured, worshiped; you want your skin to be tingling and you want the sex to start hours before your clothes leave your body.

The undeniable truth is you have to remember that you are a powerful creator of your experiences. You have to willing to guide, lead and transform what’s right in front of you.

You.

The undeniable truth is that when you’re connected to “her”, your delicious, loyal desire, you will always win because you will never be denying any part of you.

There is nothing sexier than that.

Let me tell you “Hungry Woman”, when you let the true desire unleash you leave an undeniable feeling deep in his bones. It can’t be unfelt to be with a woman like you.

The Pulse of the Erotic

 
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I feel it prickling my skin when I eat, throbbing when I’m in service to other women and tingling my insides when I touch myself.

My eroticism is my super power, my life force and it’s what makes me human.

I have noticed that many people mistake the embodiment of my eroticism as something that is dangerous and uncomfortable.

If that’s you, you are projecting your own repression of your own eroticism.

A woman suppressing her sexuality cuts herself off from her power and her life force.

A common mistake is to think that an embodied sexual woman is disconnected from herself because society has that message.

I am connected to my life force and you take that to mean something different than it is.

Your mind goes to “she must have lots of sex” or she “wow, she wears sexy revealing clothes” — this is what you reflect back to me.

You’re missing the full spectrum of my humanness.

When the erotic is awake inside me... I am available to FEEL, my desire is guiding, I am CLEAR on who’s allowed into my intimate + emotional space.

Most importantly I am DEEPLY connected to what feels deeply true and right for ME. In almost every moment.

There is a level of freedom here that is threatening and I am here for it. In me, in you and to all of you that are ready.

The Journey of an Unleashed Woman

 
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The journey of an Unleashed woman is spending your energy on "revealing" yourself.

[warning -- I was compelled to SWEAR a lot in this post].

This is a different energy to spending your energy on "becoming" a certain type of woman.

When your attention is on being someone else you miss who you are today. You build your existence on who you are not.

That doesn't work for me.

My work with women has a fundamental belief that "no parts of you are left behind".

We focus on all that you ARE and what is in the way of you seeing how fucking brilliant and wholesome you truly are.

Today. Not in five years.

In the journey of "revealing" you learn to bring the perceived "UNLOVABLE" parts of you into visibility.

We go SLOW to identify these powerful parts of you and look how they are directing your life, your beliefs and your decisions.

Often there is a desire for a BIG LIFE in this lifetime and a big, shiny monster in the back saying.....

"HELL NO, BITCH - IT IS NOT SAFE TO REVEAL WHO YOU ARE. THEY WON'T LIKE IT. THAT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE. STAY SMALL AND HIDE."

You will learn to work with those voices.

The ones that are actually subconsciously leading your life. The parts of you that love to struggle, be naughty + sneaky + manipulative. The parts of you that LOVE to live in fear and lack.

You will learn to LOVE the shit out of those parts of you.

These parts of you hold the key to unlocking a HUGE amount of power.

Many of my clients try really hard to convince how unlovable they are. I do not buy it.

My job is to invite you to slay that story.

My job is create space for you to leave my container more revealed than when you entered it.

My job is to demonstrate to you how to be skilfully resourced at knowing what you need, want and how to ask for it.

You know if this is the time. DM for a summer of revealing that beautiful, yearning heart to the world.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO PLEASE OTHERS

 
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If you find yourself on a merry go round of self-sacrifice, which leads to resentment, which leads to martyr (aka look how hard it is for me) which leads to a empty well... I have something for you.

It is your job to be in deep service to radical self love. When you are in sacred service to yourself then you can be in SERVICE to the world around you. Not servitude. SERVICE.

From a full tank. Not an empty, dry well of resentment.

I have this vision of the woman who resentfully cleans the house hoping to be appreciated. Or the woman who always gives first in s*x hoping to GET the pleasure she hopes for.

You cannot will a different reality without taking conscious action and establishing boundaries. There is nothing to “GET”.

If you are accepting scraps of attention, love, care and support from the people around you, the chances are you have trained them to treat you that way.

What we accept communicates what we believe we are worthy of. No one can define that for us.

The good news is this — IT IS YOUR JOB TO HONOR YOURSELF AS DEEPLY AS POSSIBLE.

It is your job to find your YES, and communicate your NO.

When you are a NO to self-abandon, you can follow your YES to a new type of freedom. Choosing you. Choosing desire. Pleasure. Your delicious s*x. Your body.

YOU GET TO DECIDE 

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⚡️ YOU GET TO DECIDE ⚡️

I get to be this hot.

I get to be this at home in my body.

I get to create safety in body even when I don’t feel safe.

I get to be this free with my sexuality and desire that it burns through any fear I have of being too much.

I get to be this loving to anyone that enters into my sacred intimate space.

I get to honour their heart and their desires deeply and let them enrapture me with their devotion.

I get to be encouraged, cherished and celebrated.

I get to express my no clearly.

I get to change my mind.

I get to always return home to my yes.

I get to honour my bodies desire for rest, softness and to be small.

I get to be this big in the presence of other women.

I get to let things die when they are done.

I get to never hold back the brilliance I see with the people I love.

I get to feel my value and the way I touch people’s lives on a daily basis.

I get to find my own definition of what it means to be free and allow others in my presence to find theirs.

I get to be me.

Live from the S*X, Soul and Sovereignty retreat in Florence, Italy and in honour of my Fully Unleashed Women - this is Radical Self Devotion.


Stop trading Your Sanity For a Nice Life

 
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Stop trading your sanity for a nice life

The anxiety is rife. The obsession is rampant. The frustration is daily. Yet, you keep choosing to stay.

When it comes to our relationships, I have seen you put up with an unbelievable amount of pain, boredom and resentment in favour of a nice life.

It is usually nice things / experiences, a version of warped “love" and social status that are the hardest to let go of.

You are choosing what looks good rather than what feels truly feels good and nourishes your soul.

From my lens, you are trading your sanity for a nice life. It’s an addictive pattern that can be hard to own.

Over the last three years, I got real with myself with what I truly value in my relationships. Accepting inconsistent attention, scraps of “love", drama and numbing with nice things paid for by money was my relationship inheritance.

Someone along the way I learned that this is all I deserved as a woman and believed this was the only way.

Before you start feeling sorry for me as a second-class citizen, lets be honest about a few things:

I LOVED the drama of fixing men (I get to feel superior).

I LOVED complaining about their shitty behaviour and lacklustre attention without giving feedback (I get to feel inferior, powerless and less than).

I LOVED obsessing over what they said (I love to control).

I LOVED accepting “nice things” as an apology for treating me poorly (I love a short-term power-fix).

I LOVED being being outraged when it wasn’t what I liked (I love to put the responsibility of my desire in the hands of others).

This is co-dependency and trying to control another human beings experience and calling that love.

It was not easy for me to break out of this pattern. It took a lot of awareness and humility to say, wow, I play dirty in relationships and it does not get me the high-quality partnership that I want.

It can be fun and intoxicating to choose those cycles over and over again, but really, that will not build you the relationship you say you want.

It is a LOT easier to blame someone else on why things feel sub-par versus turning towards what you and what you believe you are worth.

Relational wealth is being with a partner that is invested in themselves, you and your relationship. It is feeling sane on a regular basis and naming when something is NOT ok for you.

It is staying emotionally sound even when they are in a bad mood. It is choosing to love regardless of how they show up and being honest when you don’t want to invest anymore.

It is saying, I am a priority, my needs and desires are THIS and it is my responsibility to not take on your shit (even someone you love dearly).

You know what starts to shift? You start to learn that self-responsibility and intimacy based on truth is a lot sexier than projecting your unattended to resentments + expectations on to someone else.

You get to actually open to what you truly want.