Glamour Interview: Sex: I Tried Out A Coaching Workshop For Developing Desire.

I did an interview with Elia Manuzio of Glamour Paris. She attended one of my desire workshops and did a write up on the experience. You can read the article on Glamour’s site here. However, it’s written in French. Please enjoy an English translation of the article below:


Sex: I Tried Out A Coaching Workshop For Developing Desire

by Elia Manuzio


Olivia Lara Owen organizes small group coaching workshops around the world on the theme of desire. We had the chance to experience one when she was in Paris.

A Haussmann apartment, candles everywhere and about fifteen participants sitting on sofas around a young woman in red. How did I land here? A bit by chance. Some girlfriends of mine signed up for the "Desire Talk" after meeting Olivia Lara Owen during her first workshop at the Burning Man Festival.  Curious and not really feeling that connected to my body, my wants and my desires, I followed them in and paid the 12€ registration. Olivia Lara Owen presents herself as a “Desire and Relationship Coach". She has developed a program, "Fully Unleashed Feminine" which comes with private consultations, digital coaching and workshops for women.

"Behind every complaint there is an unfulfilled desire," begins Olivia, "reconnecting to one's desires is about building deeper and more fulfilling relationships with others.  We deserve to live according to our desires, but we receive too many negative messages that push us to censor ourselves". The tone is set. If her speech sounds a little too much like "personal development", deep down, I understand what she means. At home, the words are “imposter syndrome” of which we are often victims and which prevents us too often from carrying out our projects. So when she launches into "Here, we will unlock his power", I'm totally in (there is the moment when I imagine myself as Wonder Woman smashing the patriarchy). 

Very quickly, the practice begins. The exercise consists of getting into pairs, face to face. Each person expresses in turn what he / she wants - be it "happiness" or “to buy a new mixer" - and the other gives them permission: "You can have it". One moment is dedicated to the debriefing of the experience and the workshop continues with another exercise based on the fears that hinder the desire. Quite frankly, to say to a man who is a completely stranger that I am deeply afraid of being buried alive, is rather disturbing. But in fact, it was good thing. "We are lacking safe spaces where we can be vulnerable," explains Olivia Lara Owen, "exploring one's deep desires in front of a stranger and giving oneself permission to feel fear is really emancipating. This is how our desires become achievable. "

This is an approach that can help you find sexual fulfillment, when sex is no longer completely satisfying. In addition to her workshops and personal consultations, Olivia Lara Owen is launching a new four-week online program for women and focused solely on sexuality: "Fully Unleashed Sex". Women will learn to communicate better with their partners, to develop strategies to really put into practice their sexual desires (verbalized as well as written in advance), and to call on a new language to talk about sexuality. Like the program mentioned above (which costs £400 for four weeks of coaching), Olivia Lara Owen's full programs are relatively expensive, but the shorter workshops are very accessible. While waiting to be able to afford a real coaching, she gave us some exercises to do: "When you feel a desire, when you feel that you want something, try to analyze how you respond to this feeling and also how your body responds to it.  This is the first way to explore your inner life. " For the practical side, Olivia recommends a very simple ritual: "Once a day, ask yourself this question: 'What do I really want?' Women all too often forget to ask themselves what they want, be it a walk or a super latte with almond milk. As an immediate example, I really want a nap. So ciao.