Your Desire. Your Responsibility.

 
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When I first came up with the language of #fullyunleashed, the vision I had in my heart was of women reclaiming their softness.

I try to imagine where your mind goes when you hear the journey of the The Fully Unleashed Feminine.

I make up that some of you might read it as an intensity that you are not ready for. I want to offer a fresh perspective.

I believe many of you have learned to put a hard case around your heart, you are desensitised from your precious
emotions, you have sanitised your voice and silenced your desires.

We live in a fast, goal-orientated culture in both life and relationships and it doesn’t work for many women - you want MORE nuance, intensity AND a SLOWER pace.

You want the people in your life to pay attention to the beauty that sits before them. You want those that interact with you to take their sweet time remembering that the Fully Unleashed woman is not in a rush.

Instead, you live lost hoping for an invitation to return home.

You’ve started to believe that the key exists outside of you - in a man, job, financial status, ideal weight or physical beauty. If you keep it together for long enough, you may get “lucky” for the big break, the perfect man and the life of your dreamz.

That expectation leaves you passive, unaroused, dry, depressed and small and often, your greatest asset, your heart, remains closed.

You demand to be saved versus command to be seen.

Sister, let me remind you that the world won the day you were born and it is you that needs to re-remember that.

You are the creator of the quality that you want.

Your precious energy, when attended to beautifully, is an infinite resource that energises everyone around you. I invite you to learn how to attend to your own energy well first rather then give the responsibility over to anyone else.

This means YOU take care of you first. That’s right, babe.

Your needs. Your desires. Your vision. Your orgasm. Your priority.

Fully Unleashed is a journey of slowing life down. It’s going back and feeling the tenderness of the past that wants to be acknowledged and integrated into your present.

This opportunity here is to give yourself the luxury to enquire, go within and decide does the life I have chosen today match the brilliance of my being. If not, am I willing to sit in the inconvenience of change.

Am I willing to learn radical self-responsibility and being in sacred service to loving myself first?

Am I willing to remember that my PRESENCE is a gift to those I love?

Yes YOU, without having to do anything, or look a certain way. Simply by being YOU, you bring a unique energy to those that have the privilege of interacting with you.

The amount of you that are astounded when I remind you of that simple fact.

I use the example of being taken out to dinner and thinking you need to perform “the good, not too available guarded women script” to deserve to be there or to manipulate someone into wanting you.

Not realising that your love, care, vulnerability, presence and ability to receive the moment is an unbelievable gift.

You are so focused on making yourself “desirable” that you miss revealing the most desirable parts of you.

The Fully Unleashed in all of us is connected to her wildness, her intuition, her soceress, her innocence, her unique tender heart, her darkness and her s*x.

She’s messy, she can RAGE with love, she will call out the bullshit with her fierce, LOVING, sword and she will stoke the brilliance of the world around her, simply by her willingness to be her.

She is you.

I See You Hungry Woman

 
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I see you and the way you yearn to be touched.

You want to be tenderly caressed with light finger strokes.

You want to feel the bredth of him inside you.

You want to hear the words, my god, I want you.

You want to feel penetrated by his attention as soon as you enter the room.

You want to remember that being in your presence is the greatest gift you could ever offer.

I see the way you quieten down your inner hunger with little laughs, smiles and pleasing gestures.

You hope he doesn’t catch a glimpse of what’s really going on inside. You make it about him to cover up how much you yearn for it to be about you.

In private moments, as you lick your lips and your tongue salvates, you imagine for one moment what it could like he could truly see it. If he got to feel what you feel in those moments where you let her purr.

You imagine a moment that you let your desire off a leash.

You let the beast roar. You let yourself devour and you open.

Your body melts as he handles you with eager grace.

You pretend you’re simply scared, not brave enough to go there, yet there is a part of you so turned on, so excited to stoke the holy sex fire within you.

You want to test it.

You start to wander, maybe he knows, and I’m the one holding it back. Maybe just one day, he’ll say the right thing, or the do the right thing and it will all change.

You secretly hope he does so you could stop exhausting yourself pretending you’re fine with how things are.

You secretly hope that he desires to be an invitation for you to open.

You secretly hope he is asking questions to everyone in his life: what does it take for me to be with the dynamism of this exceptional woman and everything she wants.

Let me tell you, it is not about him. It’s about you.

You’ve been taught it backwards. If you change yourself, it you dampen your desire and your behaviour, you will eventually get everything you want.

Sister, it is all lies. We’ve been fed a falsehood and we’ve all been willingly holding up the smoke screen for one another.

You’re putting yourself at the back of the que.

I refuse to lie to you anymore and tell you that this is it.

I see you “Too Much Hungry Woman” woman trying to strategise how to be less of you.

You try to quieten your roaring heart after a night of deep sex or a first date. You decide you can’t ask for more. You hold back. You don’t go in when every part of you wants to go in. You yearn, you lay awake at night wondering if it is possible to lesson how much you want.

You let the inconvenience of your desire torture you, you make it wrong and you declare if he was a deeper, better man I wouldn’t need to honour myself first.

You think if you give up your sex you’ll loose the only power you have.

You abide by the rules and keep a shackle on her. You try to quieten her, keep her asleep but it’s been too long. The cauldron is overflowing and she is awake.

You let her feed for a moment and then you forcefully take it away. You say, “Stop making such a fuss. It’s only sex.”

You’re starving because you keep accepting mediocre snacks over the real thing.

You’re going to keep trying to “trick” yourself until the discomfort of denial becomes too great.

One day you will make the decision that you want a lot more than scraps. You want an exquisite banquet of connection and you want an exceptional experience.

You want to be devoured, worshiped; you want your skin to be tingling and you want the sex to start hours before your clothes leave your body.

The undeniable truth is you have to remember that you are a powerful creator of your experiences. You have to willing to guide, lead and transform what’s right in front of you.

You.

The undeniable truth is that when you’re connected to “her”, your delicious, loyal desire, you will always win because you will never be denying any part of you.

There is nothing sexier than that.

Let me tell you “Hungry Woman”, when you let the true desire unleash you leave an undeniable feeling deep in his bones. It can’t be unfelt to be with a woman like you.

The Pulse of the Erotic

 
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I feel it prickling my skin when I eat, throbbing when I’m in service to other women and tingling my insides when I touch myself.

My eroticism is my super power, my life force and it’s what makes me human.

I have noticed that many people mistake the embodiment of my eroticism as something that is dangerous and uncomfortable.

If that’s you, you are projecting your own repression of your own eroticism.

A woman suppressing her sexuality cuts herself off from her power and her life force.

A common mistake is to think that an embodied sexual woman is disconnected from herself because society has that message.

I am connected to my life force and you take that to mean something different than it is.

Your mind goes to “she must have lots of sex” or she “wow, she wears sexy revealing clothes” — this is what you reflect back to me.

You’re missing the full spectrum of my humanness.

When the erotic is awake inside me... I am available to FEEL, my desire is guiding, I am CLEAR on who’s allowed into my intimate + emotional space.

Most importantly I am DEEPLY connected to what feels deeply true and right for ME. In almost every moment.

There is a level of freedom here that is threatening and I am here for it. In me, in you and to all of you that are ready.

The Journey of an Unleashed Woman

 
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The journey of an Unleashed woman is spending your energy on "revealing" yourself.

[warning -- I was compelled to SWEAR a lot in this post].

This is a different energy to spending your energy on "becoming" a certain type of woman.

When your attention is on being someone else you miss who you are today. You build your existence on who you are not.

That doesn't work for me.

My work with women has a fundamental belief that "no parts of you are left behind".

We focus on all that you ARE and what is in the way of you seeing how fucking brilliant and wholesome you truly are.

Today. Not in five years.

In the journey of "revealing" you learn to bring the perceived "UNLOVABLE" parts of you into visibility.

We go SLOW to identify these powerful parts of you and look how they are directing your life, your beliefs and your decisions.

Often there is a desire for a BIG LIFE in this lifetime and a big, shiny monster in the back saying.....

"HELL NO, BITCH - IT IS NOT SAFE TO REVEAL WHO YOU ARE. THEY WON'T LIKE IT. THAT WON'T GET YOU ANYWHERE. STAY SMALL AND HIDE."

You will learn to work with those voices.

The ones that are actually subconsciously leading your life. The parts of you that love to struggle, be naughty + sneaky + manipulative. The parts of you that LOVE to live in fear and lack.

You will learn to LOVE the shit out of those parts of you.

These parts of you hold the key to unlocking a HUGE amount of power.

Many of my clients try really hard to convince how unlovable they are. I do not buy it.

My job is to invite you to slay that story.

My job is create space for you to leave my container more revealed than when you entered it.

My job is to demonstrate to you how to be skilfully resourced at knowing what you need, want and how to ask for it.

You know if this is the time. DM for a summer of revealing that beautiful, yearning heart to the world.

IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO PLEASE OTHERS

 
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If you find yourself on a merry go round of self-sacrifice, which leads to resentment, which leads to martyr (aka look how hard it is for me) which leads to a empty well... I have something for you.

It is your job to be in deep service to radical self love. When you are in sacred service to yourself then you can be in SERVICE to the world around you. Not servitude. SERVICE.

From a full tank. Not an empty, dry well of resentment.

I have this vision of the woman who resentfully cleans the house hoping to be appreciated. Or the woman who always gives first in s*x hoping to GET the pleasure she hopes for.

You cannot will a different reality without taking conscious action and establishing boundaries. There is nothing to “GET”.

If you are accepting scraps of attention, love, care and support from the people around you, the chances are you have trained them to treat you that way.

What we accept communicates what we believe we are worthy of. No one can define that for us.

The good news is this — IT IS YOUR JOB TO HONOR YOURSELF AS DEEPLY AS POSSIBLE.

It is your job to find your YES, and communicate your NO.

When you are a NO to self-abandon, you can follow your YES to a new type of freedom. Choosing you. Choosing desire. Pleasure. Your delicious s*x. Your body.

YOU GET TO DECIDE 

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⚡️ YOU GET TO DECIDE ⚡️

I get to be this hot.

I get to be this at home in my body.

I get to create safety in body even when I don’t feel safe.

I get to be this free with my sexuality and desire that it burns through any fear I have of being too much.

I get to be this loving to anyone that enters into my sacred intimate space.

I get to honour their heart and their desires deeply and let them enrapture me with their devotion.

I get to be encouraged, cherished and celebrated.

I get to express my no clearly.

I get to change my mind.

I get to always return home to my yes.

I get to honour my bodies desire for rest, softness and to be small.

I get to be this big in the presence of other women.

I get to let things die when they are done.

I get to never hold back the brilliance I see with the people I love.

I get to feel my value and the way I touch people’s lives on a daily basis.

I get to find my own definition of what it means to be free and allow others in my presence to find theirs.

I get to be me.

Live from the S*X, Soul and Sovereignty retreat in Florence, Italy and in honour of my Fully Unleashed Women - this is Radical Self Devotion.


Stop trading Your Sanity For a Nice Life

 
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Stop trading your sanity for a nice life

The anxiety is rife. The obsession is rampant. The frustration is daily. Yet, you keep choosing to stay.

When it comes to our relationships, I have seen you put up with an unbelievable amount of pain, boredom and resentment in favour of a nice life.

It is usually nice things / experiences, a version of warped “love" and social status that are the hardest to let go of.

You are choosing what looks good rather than what feels truly feels good and nourishes your soul.

From my lens, you are trading your sanity for a nice life. It’s an addictive pattern that can be hard to own.

Over the last three years, I got real with myself with what I truly value in my relationships. Accepting inconsistent attention, scraps of “love", drama and numbing with nice things paid for by money was my relationship inheritance.

Someone along the way I learned that this is all I deserved as a woman and believed this was the only way.

Before you start feeling sorry for me as a second-class citizen, lets be honest about a few things:

I LOVED the drama of fixing men (I get to feel superior).

I LOVED complaining about their shitty behaviour and lacklustre attention without giving feedback (I get to feel inferior, powerless and less than).

I LOVED obsessing over what they said (I love to control).

I LOVED accepting “nice things” as an apology for treating me poorly (I love a short-term power-fix).

I LOVED being being outraged when it wasn’t what I liked (I love to put the responsibility of my desire in the hands of others).

This is co-dependency and trying to control another human beings experience and calling that love.

It was not easy for me to break out of this pattern. It took a lot of awareness and humility to say, wow, I play dirty in relationships and it does not get me the high-quality partnership that I want.

It can be fun and intoxicating to choose those cycles over and over again, but really, that will not build you the relationship you say you want.

It is a LOT easier to blame someone else on why things feel sub-par versus turning towards what you and what you believe you are worth.

Relational wealth is being with a partner that is invested in themselves, you and your relationship. It is feeling sane on a regular basis and naming when something is NOT ok for you.

It is staying emotionally sound even when they are in a bad mood. It is choosing to love regardless of how they show up and being honest when you don’t want to invest anymore.

It is saying, I am a priority, my needs and desires are THIS and it is my responsibility to not take on your shit (even someone you love dearly).

You know what starts to shift? You start to learn that self-responsibility and intimacy based on truth is a lot sexier than projecting your unattended to resentments + expectations on to someone else.

You get to actually open to what you truly want.

Be Willing to Wildly Disappoint the People You Love

 
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“Like a tree planted by a river, I shall not be moved.”
— Maya Angelou
 

One of the biggest growth shifts I see in people is when you become willing to disappoint others.

Friends, family and partners have told me [OFTEN] that I trigger them with my posts.

If I ever start making that a problem, I ask for a dose of reality from those I trust and remember that I am here to serve the ones that are ready for it.

I am not here to diminish my voice to fulfil someone else’s expectations of me.

Not everyone is going to like you in your full expression of yourself.

You are going to ruffle feathers.

You are going to invite others to think differently about themselves.

Your presence alone is going to awaken parts of people that they might not be ready to attend to.

Rather than create a problem out of that, how about you learn to be ok with it.

The energy wasted on worrying about pleasing others, or being more digestible for your family or keeping your partner happen does a huge disservice to you and your gift.

If you can feel your light turned off and your energy being zapped, check in and ask yourself when you started living life pleasing others over pleasing yourself.

DISCOMFORT IN TIMES OF CLIMAX + TRANSITION

 
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A painful break up. Job Loss. An affair. Divorce. Serious health condition. Amazing new relationship. Spiritual awakening. Job of your dreams.

Crisis is happening to you at a rate you cannot control - what do you do? Rush to fix? Do you start numbing (booze, porn, people, entertainment) and avoiding the uncomfortable sensation? Or, do you stop to listen to what you need to accept?

Goodness is coming in to your life at an intensity you’re not used to - what do you do? Do you embrace how it feels? Or, do you self-sabotage because you have a story you are undeserving?

I notice a pattern — when we start to look at the really uncomfortable (and transformation) shit that gets revealed in coaching (or other healing work), many of you want to LEAP and find a solution STRAIGHT AWAY.

You struggle to be with the new awareness that the situation is revealing to you.

You jump to a solution to avoid feeling what is there.

The problem is that if you don’t stop to accept what is happening, you will likely spend your life in crisis / fix the crisis / repeat the crisis.

You likely have low-self-esteem and think you deserve all the crisis that keeps happening.

Or, when good stuff happens you can’t be with it because you don’t feel deserving of it. You are stuck in a loop.

Without acceptance of yourself and what is happening, it is very challenging to take “effective” action that is not reactive or externally seeking.

The person, health condition or situation will change and you will keep feeling the same: worthless, undeserving, incapable of changing the trajectory of your life and how your relationships feel.

Action without self-acceptance often will make you feel worse because the action is not aligned with what you truly want. If you are to take “reactive action”, even if you “win”, you are still swimming in self-doubt that you’ve made a mistake so you can’t even feel good about it.

Think about the cycle many of us go through in romantic relationships. You don’t feel deserving of love, or a caring partner and you unconsciously self-sabotage when you meet one. This situation fucks with your story that you are not lovable or deserving of love. You blame them for not being good enough or turn it back on yourself - I am not deserving. You don’t commit and you become avoidant, pushing the person away and shutting down your heart.

Do you feel better when you end the relationship? Or does it feel generative to spend a lot of time “FIXING” yourself / or worse trying to FIX your partner while you’re still in the relationship? Often not, you are reacting to a sabotaging pattern that could really do with some ACCEPTANCE. From you.

Often in life we get the wake up calls we most need at the MOST inconvenient times (trust me, I really know this one well). Rather than be QUICK TO FIX, are you willing to take a pause and expand you capacity to feel the full spectrum of emotions life is throwing tat you? Have you noticed that the same patterns emerge even when you switch partners?

Why? Because the pattern and behaviour associated with that lives in YOU, and not the other person, or the shitty boss, or the amazing new opportunity that’s landed on your doorstep.

There is a LOT of BEAUTY when you jump off the crisis wagon. Or the, I NEED TO WORK HARDER to be deserving of this goodness.

Life is best lived at the most resonant frequency: when you stop resisting, avoiding and numbing you get present with what is. You build your capacity to greatly FEEL both pleasure and pain. This is VERY helpful in staying conscious (aka AWARE) while you navigate the highs and lows that pepper our lives.

The BEST gift I can give to my coaching clients is to invite them to slow down and learn to accept themselves. It takes time. No amount of money or external validation, or hot new fella, or clean bill of health can cover up the serene feeling of accepting you, being with your current reality and feeling the rawness of your emotions.

Sometimes I laugh, because often you get hit with a couple of crisis occurring at once. If you choose to work on accepting it, I actually love meeting YOU when you are at this stage of the process because you are surrendered, humble and alive. You are the most supple and ready to do the work knowing that perhaps, you are the leading agent of your life.

You are tired of your own bullshit and I call it getting on your knees for your life.

If you’re ready to go SLOW accepting the hardest to love (IN YOUR OPINION) parts of you, I’m ready to have a conversation with you AND I about coaching together. If this is for you, you will know.

Dear Lisboa — A Love Letter



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I’m leaving you today after being inside you for four months. I appreciate you in a way I have only recently been able to admit.

You held me like the true cauldron of transformation that you are… through rich moments of awakening. 

I was warned, “don’t rush her.”

I didn’t listen. I was in a rush. A brave rush, but still a rush.

I wanted all of you on immediate arrival. Being a beginner was vulnerable and I judged you for not being right when I didn’t want to put in the real work. What a gorgeous lesson. 

You do not respond well to pressure and force. 

You are like the mysterious feminine….with light persistent, resonant attention you will open.

Slowly.

If I forced or tried to skip the steps, you would close shut. I had to learn the skill to discover all the magnificent treasures you have to offer without any attachment to timing. 

As you started to elegantly reveal yourself to me my mind was blown. Great love and appreciation is developed over time and I’m sorry that I forgot that.

You are full of mysterious treasures. Those beaches and the surrounding water. We could leave the city and in thirty minutes be watching an exquisite Atlantic sunset alone. No one else around.

I can’t think of many other places where that is possible with city living. In recent weeks I spent many moments staring at the water for as long as I needed. You helped me reveal my own internal treasures that I had forgotten.

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You have the magical land of Sintra twenty minutes away with ridiculous palaces like playgrounds with underground caves, full of regalia and absurd human expression. I couldn’t believe a place that like actually existed. It does. You have it.

You have some of the best humans living in you. By best, I mean the ones that are deeply committed to you. Everyone I meet is in for the long haul to support you in being everything you are meant to be. There’s nothing I love more than a committed group of ambitious humans and you are FULL of em. 

You challenged me with your calmness and steady pace. You are different to New York and London. Without the noise and rush, I was left with the speed of my mind without much fog to distract myself. It was confronting. I had to wake up to my own bullshit and where I’d been running from patterns and living out of alignment. I hadn’t been still enough in long enough to really listen in the way I could living still inside of you. 


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You are a bedrock for romance. I loved watching all the couples that frequent you. There is a perfume of permission and I would watch beautiful pairs devour each other on many of your stunning park benches. I enjoyed walking at night on the quiet streets and seeing couples making out under the moonlight against your brightly coloured walls and cobbled streets. The more I looked, the more I saw and I would often make my whole body heat up with joy. There is something unique about Europe PDA —  it feels so fucking abundant and like we can unleash all ourselves, and it is allowed. We can HAVE it.

I appreciate the flavour of your men and their style of giving attention. There is a certain way that Southern European men overtly appreciate women. I grew up in Spain and if you were to draw an almost perfect line across the island of Iberia from you to the other coast of Spain you would find my childhood. Living in you felt familiar; a region I had lived closed in before. I grew up navigating the often overwhelming attention of many of these types of men and I realised living in you what a sticky impression that experience left on me. 

Your male flavour felt a little different I realised this week. I would enjoy the way they would stop and devour me with their eyes, soaking all of me in without it ever feeling like they entered my energetic space with their attention. It created an opportunity for me to breathe on your streets never feeling under threat or obligation yet always feeling deeply appreciated. That’s a gorgeous sweet spot for a woman. 

You are a spiritual centre and many many people told me about the Mecca of Desire that exists only hours away. I will be visiting soon with my soul sister Lauren.

Finally, you have a pulse right now that is fucking electric. I want to be more ready for your sugar and spice, so with that, I’m taking a pause. I’m almost certain I’ll be back. Maybe in weeks or maybe in months. It is unclear. All I know is my chapter with you has deeply, deeply elevated my life and like all the best love affairs, I commit to always being curious and never, ever having you figured out. 

I love you Lisboa, 

Liv

🔥Commitment is a choice🔥

 
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Commitment is a choice — you do not have to wait to be chosen.


You know the feeling of desperately trying to figure out whether the person you’re dating wants to truly commit to you? You know all the tricks and hints you’ve used to try and figure out how much you mean to them? 🤯

Oh babe, I got you. I know. I have done most of those hooks and it never got me close to what I wanted.

There is an unfortunate phenomenon that women in particular are taught — you have to wait to be chosen. This sends you crazy because you think you don’t have any power or choice in you present reality.

You obsess, pick fights, go cold and withhold your love, compare yourself to other women, provoke him and analyse his reaction. “If he really cared about me he would tell me he loved me, or stopped being friends with other women, or tell me I am the one.” Am I right sisters? 🤭

Energetically this feels like shit for both you and him.

The truth is that you are probably waiting for him to do something before YOU commit.

What if commitment was a choice? A daily choice. What if “the one” was the “one right now” always and commitment wasn’t measured in a status symbol or “I want you to be mine forever”? After transforming my relationship to men I have a particular flavour of mastery that I like to share with other women.

I support you to drop the crazy obsession and story that you’re not enough. I mentor you through unleashing your true desire in any moment, giving you the power of CHOICE in your relationships to men.

I have seen again and again how a woman who truly backs her own choice is irresistible to men.

Are you ready to work on this? Book in for a Desire Consultations to see my new coaching offerings for women.

#fullyunleashed #modernrelationships


Men, I want to experience every last aspect of you.

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Yesterday, I was listening to Robert Kandell talk about receiving on his podcast and what makes it so hard for us to receive the full expression of ourselves in relationships, let love really. We have convinced ourselves it’s noble to not receive. To say, I don’t need that love, I’m good.

He talks about how much harder it is for men to even admit they have fear and how that can get in the way of connection inside a relationship, “The worst thing a man can do is to be a boy that shows fear. That will be the one that is bullied. We’re taught to have no fear, perceive no fear and we shut down our emotions to fear. Fear is an important thing to notice as it gives you so much information.”. It got me thinking about how little understanding I have had about what it means to be a man, and how much richer my life has become since I have decided to pay attention to that. I make a really conscious effort to show my man that it’s safe to show his fear and the breadth of his emotions. It’s work on my side to be able to do that, especially when old wounds get triggered.

Rob says, “Men. You have to make it very pleasurable for a woman to receive you. Go to a therapist. Coach. Get your shit cleaned up”. The message here is not that it’s all on the women, or it’s all on the men, but rather there is this place in between where we can truly stay curious and take responsibility for our own shit, and understand the societal conditioning that created some of belief systems.


The same conditioning that tells me my partner being with another woman means he doesn’t love me and won’t come back, is the same conditioning which has indoctrinated him to think the expression of my raw emotions - like anger, jealously or sadness - is a deep threat to his freedom and a thing to be feared.

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The same conditioning that tells me my partner being with another woman means he doesn’t love me and won’t come back, is the same conditioning which has indoctrinated him to think the expression of my raw emotions - like anger, jealously or sadness - is a deep threat to his freedom and a thing to be feared.

My favourite thing from the podcast, is when Rob says there is an opportunity for women to say to the men in their lives, “I want to know all of you. I want to experience every last aspect of you. I want to be a safe space for who you are. I want to be with you in your highest highs or lowest lows. This is not a job for you as women, this is an opportunity.”

In a world that has heavily communicated the opposite, I want to be a woman that pioneers that level of integrity and love inside of my relationship to men.

Women, how do you feel about this? Do you feel like it is an opportunity for you to develop your capacity to be with more of your man? How do you show up when he is at his lowest low?

 

I AM KING KONG, NOT A RABBIT.

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I was coaching a wonderful female client earlier and we got onto the subject of talking about appetite.

Appetite for sex and food.

I notice this a lot, when I coach women, where the admission of what they truly want, the depth and variety of the experiences, the sex, the attention, is hidden under a guise of “IT IS OK, I don’t really have an appetite.”

I hear a version of this often:

“I like to eat the same thing every day because it’s easy. More digestible. Just enough. I’m not really having sex, or dating, or the attention I want. But it’s ok, work is great and I don’t really want it it anyway. I don’t even know what food I like, but it’s not really a problem because I don’t really enjoy food. My partner and I never have sex, but it’s fine because sex isn’t important to me.”

Well, I call bullshit.

Yes a nice, succulent, delicious green salad is sometimes what we truly desire…yet, the true physical nourishment we actually want is much more than this.

Yes, the sex once a month feels good…yet, the hungry beast inside of us isn’t getting fed.

Yes, we like to take care of ourselves……yet, when self-care is driven by deprivation the outcome is devastating.

Yes, being connected to our purpose is incredibly important…yet, there are so many part of us hidden away in the shadows of how excellent we are at self-sufficiency.

Most women I know actually have an appetite to similar to KING KONG and not a precious RABBIT.

We want to be sucked, fucked, and attended to with exquisite care by the people we are intimate with.

We want burgers in bed.

We want variety.

We want premium chocolate.

We want a different kind of menu when it comes to sex, food and experiences.

It’s vulnerable to admit that.

I get that, I really do.

The thing I’ll start with is this.

Your appetite is gorgeous. 
Your hunger is your power. 
Your desires will lead you home to your body.

Women, aka QUEEN KONGS…

What do you have an appetite for?

Please let the world know.

You’ll find me at www.fireupyourdesire.com/unleashed-sex debunking rabbit myths once and for all.